Call the Midwife discussion

This is the first in possibly a few blog posts about the BBC television programme. I adore the programme, it is one of the few I watch every year and never miss an episode of. I am hoping to write some in-depth analysis and thoughts on the show. This, my comments after series 6 episode 2, will be the first and has a more adult nature than some others.

Things to consider when thinking about the physical relationship of Patsy and Delia.There are a lot of things I want to say about this, and I’m not trying to annoy anyone. I love a good fanfic as much as the next person, especially when it is about our girls but I want to make a statement and then I am going to explain why. Here goes.

I don’t think that Patsy and Delia have had sex yet.

There, said it. Some of you will be confused, some of you will wonder what makes me think this but there are a lot of hints out there. I know that there are a lot of ways that their relationship can be read but I, as a person who adores a good bit of history, see a lot of things in a different light. So here goes, my reasons follow… stick around if you want to know more.

Point one- Experience. Nowadays us gay people get most of our information from reputable sources i.e. Tumblr. But when these girls were discovering their sexuality, when they were young and impressionable things were very different. To learn more about the ways these two girls would have learned about sex in the first place we need to look at their very different backgrounds.

So as a young girl in the beautiful (and wet) welsh countryside, Delia wouldn’t have been very exposed to the rumours and hushed giggles of the girls her age. Her experiences would probably have gone along the lines of seeing animals mating in the fields and realising that was where babies came from. Her Mother likely would have sat her down and explained that it was ‘nature’s way’ when she had her first period. She wouldn’t have learned much about male anatomy from home, and likely wouldn’t have learned much from her friends either. She likely would have been immature for longer than those in the cities.

Patsy, on the other hand, likely would have learned a lot at a very impressionable age. While in the prison camp she would have seen naked woman, she would have seen blood and birth and many things at nine years old that Delia would not have seen at fourteen or fifteen. She also went- before and after the war- to a boarding school, likely an all girl’s school. Unlike Delia she may have been around many other, older girls who would have heard rumours, rumours that were often wrong but were the only sex ED she got. She was likely in the camps when her periods began, when she began to change and develop. Also unlike Delia, Patsy probably hadn’t seen any form of male organ, or forms of mating, until she became a nurse.

 

Point two- shame. This is a point which I feel only really applies to Patsy. She grew up in a world of arrangement more than love. She would possibly have realised her feeling quite young but not realised what they meant until she was much older. She would likely have had a huge amount of self-hatred. I am very surprised, knowing how much I hated myself at that age, that she survived- I actually think she only did because of survivors guilty. I don’t believe this was such an issue for Delia, being as to the point, strong and stubborn as she is.

 

Point three- knowledge of what to do. I, personally only found out how to girls had sex after finding fanfictions online at around fourteen (the same time I started to realise I was gay) I became aware of how it all worked. It made sense, sure, but I’d never have thought of using finger and especially not about using mouths! So I think for Patsy and Delia it would be incredibly hard to know how to please each other. I think they will have learned how good it feels to have skin on skin, possibly learned to touch each other a little but not how to penetrate or how to make penetration worthwhile.

 

Point four- being discovered. This is an enormous worry for the girls, they would lose everything if this happened. They can’t risk anyone learning anymore (of course Phyllis was amazing, I think Trixie would be too, but very few people will be so ok with this) They would be given the same treatment as paedophiles. It wasn’t illegal for women to be gay, but that is simply because it was believed a woman could never be so ‘perverted’ as to do such a thing. I think this, again, worries Patsy slightly more because she had a more aristocratic upbringing, she keeps things to herself and doesn’t talk about things that make her vulnerable.

Point five, and the last point- Illness. Both of the girls are competent nurses, Patsy has likely been a qualified nurse for 8 to ten years at this point. They have both worked in multiple positions and have very likely seen sexually transmitted diseases. Most of these diseases at the time were believed to be spread only through prostitutes or gay sex. There was also very little knowledge about the treatment of illnesses which are now so easy to treat. I would imagine the girls are aware of how horrendous these conditions are, and believe that they are both capable of either carrying or contracting an illness with would likely kill them.

So, these are my thoughts, my beliefs about the couple and their sex life – or lack of one – but I am more than happy to be challenged, let me know your thoughts on the matter. And also, as I said, this does not mean I won’t read or write sex scenes between the two. As I gay woman I believe it is in my duty, lol

Black Widow: Hero or bad example? 

Today’s topic has come at a very specific time, and for a specific reason. I have recently became the victim of cyber bullying, I am being targetted by someone who knows a huge amount about me and knows my family. This post isn’t about that topic specifically so I won’t go into any real detail on the topic however it has left me feeling a bit shaken and very anxious. I have lost a lot of confidence but I won’t let them break me. I don’t care what the wider world thinks of me, and never will, if it makes me happy and hurts no one then I’m not changing it.

This feeling of anxiety however had me doing what I often do- I think of my idols, think of the characters that keep me going. My current special interest- for the second time in my life- has become the Avengers, my favourite character being the infamous Black Widow, Natalia Romanova- or Natasha.

This led to this- I know a long chain of thoughts- me deciding to give my tuppence on a common debate surrounding Natasha. Is she a great role model for little girls, or someone to avoid introducing to a child’s life?

For those who don’t know the Avengers is a series of comic books and films owned by Marvel. Natasha is a spy originally from Russia with a very specific set of skills and the ability to bring down almost anyone. Natasha is also the first female avenger in the film series and the only female avenger in the Avengers assemble tv series. She is strong, witty and ‘don’t need no man’ to help her out. She is pretty and girly but kicks…. Ugh…. Bottoms on a daily basis too. She is not a super-human in the way some of the others are, her slight inhancements make her a good fighter but she has to work unlike Iron Man or Hulk. She does not have a male counterpart in the way the Spider woman and she-hulk do. She doesn’t fall in love and live happily ever after, she is the example that you can just be friends with boys- and hulks. She is a rare example of the power woman stereotype who adores her job and has nothing sacrifice because of it. She is also a reason for the slow increase of girls taking marshal arts and self-defence classes. The geeky kids who may not exercise at all are now more likely to follow in the Widow’s tiptoed steps.

That doesn’t sound too bad? Well here are the reasons that Natasha may not be as good for your daughter as you thought she was.

Reason one, Natasha was trained as a femme fatale- a honey trap, she lures men to her with her body and techniques of seduction before  going on for the kill, just as a real female black widow spider would do to it’s mate. Next up there’s the fact that Natasha is a sociopath. She has a limited ability to empathise with anyone, she puts herself first and because she can come across as very cold she is also an unbelievably good liar. Natasha has beaten almost every lie detector test she has been set- and she is ninety years old, she’s done a few. Then there is the language or the content of some of her comics, there are no specifically explicit images in any marvel comics as far as my knowledge extends, however, there are many sexual hints with a few strategically placed bands of light across the breasts, or sheets pooled between the legs. Natasha is very explicit.

Her language may be another issue. Her choice words are very choice, mostly they are in Russian. This is good because to a child, she isn’t swearing but also bad because children may repeat words such as Der’mo (shit) or call someone a Cyat (bitch) without having a clue their language is bad.

There is maybe a worry to parents of their little girls choosing clothes to be like the Widow. This could be a problem, no one wants to see their young child- or worse- tween, wearing clothes that some horrible people could see as sexual. Natasha wears a lot of strappy tops and her Cat suit is form fitting and has a low V neckline, these are a bad idea at age twelve. Natasha may sexualise your children without them realising they are becoming this way (if you do have a child interested in copying Natasha’s style check out the Her range of Hot Topic in the US)

As you have probably noticed there are several ways in which Natasha can influence your children- especially daughters. In my opinion the good outweighs the bad, Natasha was the first female hero in MCU (marvel cinematic universe), yes she is pretty, yes she is a little rough around the edges, but she is still a role model. She is creating strong little girls, girls who can fight for who they are. It encourages girls to work hard at a discipline- whether that discipline is a sport like her martial arts or her history in Ballet, or a discipline in learning. Natasha can speak five languages at least, maybe this will encourage children to learn like she had to, to study hard. Yes there may be sexual references, there may be language issues but there is also a reason for age ratings on the MCU films, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are age guidelines for the comic books also. There are books written by Marvel for younger children, there are Black widow stories suitable for children from the age of three upwards. And the fighting? Natasha teaches there is a time and a place, she knows when to talk, and this may not make a huge amount of sense to a three year old but the more you teach them the morals of superhero’s the more they will learn. DYK= kids who read comics are conditioned to have better morals and understanding of justice, as well as knowing how to stand up for themselves and when to get help.

Natalia Alianovna Romanova is a character of great feminine strength and, in my opinion, one of the best characters to introduce to your children, this red-head is changing history in far more ways than only one.

What do you think about Comics for Kids, do you agree that the good outweighs the bad? that there is a purpose to hero’s for kids? If your kids read comics, when did they start, do you think it has made them a better person?

 

Autism dogs

I have been noticing that my small audience that I’ve been gaining is mainly looking for one type of post specifically, and those are the posts about autism. Well I thought I’d give you another topic related to autism which may interest you all.There are many types of autism-related help out there, from the holistic types to the medicated. I am not about to say what is wrong and what is right in this area- not in this blog post I’m not- however I am about to talk about an alternative method which is becoming more and more recognised but is still an area beyond what we normally see.

This treatment has paws and usually a tail. I am talking about autism assistance dogs.

Some of you might not even have heard of assistance dogs for those with autism, some of you might be in the lucky few who have their own. However I am going to give you my two cents on the whole thing.

Where did this come to my attention then? I came across these dogs when I was around ten years old in some magazines about dogs, discovered that I could have a dog which would go everywhere with me. At that age however, I didn’t truly understand my diagnosis or my difficulties. I thought I was just as normal as the next person.

Recently, when looking through an online list of attendants to this year’s Kidz to Adults show at the highland centre I found a charity I hadn’t heard of before- and, when it comes to charities about autism that is a rare occurrence. This charity was Appaws for Autism.

Now, I read the name and thought it was very much self-explanatory, but still I had to check. I was met by a charity which was a dream come true, a charity which didn’t ask for all the paperwork under the sun but was still thorough, a charity where it was a huge financial commitment but still worked as a charity did.

I’m not going to tell you everything about the charity right now because of course I’m not here to advertise but I will throw the link to this website down somewhere so you can check it out yourself.

Needless to say my first thing was to speak to my parents, try and persuade them I had found the best charity that I possibly could. Before I tell you the outcome of my parent’s response, I want to go through some of our own pros and cons of having a service dog, starting with the Pros.

Number one- you have a constant companion. This is the best thing in my mind about a person with autism having an assistance dog , so many of us have very little experience of friendship which of course doesn’t mean we don’t crave it. A dog is loyal to the end, they don’t have hurt feelings or think of you as ‘weird’ they simply love you for being you.

Number two- you become more mentally healthy. There is a huge amount of research done on this area, as well as everyone who are animal lovers being able to vouch it is true, animals are good for your mental health. Any animal helps you learn respect, it makes you more confident to have a pet at your side, and they help with getting you up in the morning and out of the house.

Number three- Your physical health. A dog of any kind, whether an assistance dog or not will help your physical fitness levels, you will have to walk the dog, and how happy the dog is while on an outing should be enough incentive for anyone to take their dog outside. Walking every day, pushing yourself a little more every day, will increase your fitness which in term will make your dog happy that you can play for longer.

Number four- Meltdowns and anxiety. Meltdown as hard no matter what the situation or age of the autistic person but someone who can keep you safe during a meltdown while at the same time helping to calm and comfort you. No person can do that in the same way a dog can. Because dogs- the angels that they appear to be- don’t react badly to the thrashing of a person in meltdown, they simply lay their weight down on the person and allow them to scream or cry or thrash and hit until the meltdown has surpassed. This also works for anxiety, these dogs are trained to simply give you weight pressure and stay in position until they are no longer needed.

Now I’m going to move on to the other side of this argument. The cons of an assistance dog. Some people feel that there are no cons at all. That- coming from a person who is totally for their use- may seem strange however I am a big believer in their cons also.

Number one- they make the user stand out. All those questions, all the ‘you don’t look autistic’ or’they are just badly behaved’ comments that parents are used to hearing. They will get worse. People will know just by seeing your child’s or your own assistance dog that you or your child is disabled. The company I have looked at,which appears to be the only one to train assistance dogs  for adults, has the specific autism assistance dog written on the dog’s harness. People will not just know you are disabled but will know you are autistic. Do you or your child want that attention? Can you cope with it?

Number two- it is a big commitment. Having a dog is a big commitment, if you already have a dog which isn’t able to become an assistance dog then it becomes an even bigger commitment. Two dogs is a lot of work. Two dogs which need walked and fed and need insurance or vet bills paid, can you afford that?

Number three-the fundraising. The charity Appaws for Autism creates a perfect dog for you using your own puppy, however the training of the dog, and the upkeep while it undertakes its training, costs a huge £3000! This is more than most families can afford, so there is a huge amount of fundraising needed, fundraising which needs to be done cheaply so as not to make a loss. This in itself is a big commitment- especially as a lot of people don’t see the huge benefits that there are with having an autism assistance dog in the way that guide dogs help the blind. People are not so willing to part with money for an adult either- they don’t care so much about the value of independence as they take it for granted themselves. Do you have the time, patience and even the charisma to fundraise such a huge amount.

So, here we go, you’ve read my pro’s and con’s and now for the ultimate response. The answer which was given by my parents. They said no. They decided, although an assistance dog would make my life easier and better in so many ways, especially through giving me confidence and independence, that two dogs is too many for us at the moment. They made the decision that another puppy is a very big commitment which we currently don’t have the time to undertake- especially as our own dog is only two years old. They are worried about raising so much money for the puppy not to pass, or to get another dog and it end up with a condition which means we have two pets rather than a pet and an assistance dog.  So there you have it, I will not be receiving an assistance dog in the near future, but I will not let this hold me back, I will keep aiming high and pushing for my independence, even if that doesn’t involve a four legged, waggy tailed, best friend to give a helping Paw.

Thanks for reading, please feel free to give me your thoughts and feelings on assistance dogs for autism.

Doggy doodles

Hey everyone, this is another arty post showcasing my drawings. I am also doing drawings of pets, dogs cats and other small furries,  large furries, and not so furries are all welcome. My pet portraits are more charicatures of the animals and hope to depict them as they really are, with a bit of personality and a dash of cheekiness.  

So here are some of my finished pieces that I’ve done so far, if you are interested in these drawings, future drawings or a drawing for yourself of your own pet past or present then please contact me and I’ll give you a no obligation quote for what you would like. 

Here is the link to my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/abbiescreations/

and I hope you enjoy my drawings. 

P.s.stay tuned for my next post which will be talking about autism and apps. 

Square-faced dolls and other art 

Hello again everyone I am finally doing my first page of crafty blog-ness! 

I have recently- in the past few weeks- began to think seriously about the selling of some of my art. I am just new to this so I’ve been creating mostly my signature style- the square faced doll. These dolls evolved from a mixture of several styles I like and they have no become totally my own. 

The dolls are original pieces- not prints. Which means there is no piece exactly like it in the world. The eventual owners of these little girls will be the only one to have them- just like I feel art should be. 

They are however not my only work, I am open to discussions on commissioned pieces although they could be more costly. These could be specific versions of the dolls (a mermaid with pink hair for example) or they could be work which are not something I have examples of. 

If you are interested in my work- or even just want to help me make something from my artwork- then please, please consider following me on Instagram or Facebook, help me get the message out there and maybe find a piece for yourself… 

These pieces can be found at Abbie’s Creations on Facebook and abbies_creationz on Instagram.  

Thanks for reading! 

How to Write right

 

I was speaking to a friend recently who has just finished a course in journalism; she has obviously been taught the ins and outs of telling a good story. I- however- haven’t. Sure I learned the beginning teachings of journalism and propaganda in primary school, which was expanded in high school and through modern studies classes in order to be able to write a small amount of newspaper-y type talk.

Then I began thinking about exactly how I write, and the thing is, well, I have no method. None. Not at all. I literally just write as I want to about whatever I want to talk about. Sometimes my writing can come across as clever or witty but that’s not how I speak. I speak as a totally different person. I speak like most aspies speak- awkward and too often.

When I talk thinking of something witty or clever it will take me around ten minutes if not more to come up with and usually by the time that thought has popped up in my brain the moment has long passed and I need to store the thought and hope it comes up again one day in the future. The other thing that may happen when I am talking is that what I think of as witty or clever- even funny- might actually come across as being cruel. I don’t mean to hurt others, not at all but sometimes my sense of humour is a little different from other peoples.

However – a little bit of magic comes in whenever a pen touches paper or fingers touch a keyboard- I can suddenly say what I want to say and I can be sure those words make sense to everyone else. The keyboard is a known life changer for many autistic people. If you have never heard of the author Naoki Higashida for example, he is an ‘autistic miracle’, a person who was ‘in there’ after all and in fact is incredibly clever and capable. He may not be able to talk but he certainly has a lot to say.

This post isn’t about the tool that writing is for people with autism- although I could and might do a post on that one day once I’ve done more research (If anyone would be interested in that you know where to find me ) This post is about me personally and about how I write. There is one very simple secret, and that is the only secret, the only agenda to my writing skills and thoughts. I don’t edit. I don’t edit at all, yes I correct typos but that’s all. I simply correct the occasional letter.

At school I had never been a fan of correcting my work. I am a passionate writer. I write because I want to tell a story, because I want to persuade people to think the way I think or to at least consider my opinions. I don’t like to stop and pause when I’m writing, I keep going and going until I’m forced to put a piece down for one reason or another or because I’ve finished. You see, to me the best pieces of writing are personal, and the best way to be personal is to write yourself onto the page. If you spread you thoughts naked onto the page it makes it far easier for people to see you. If you dress up your writing too fancy then the raw essence of the piece is lost and it loses its ability to be called art.  If writing is not an art then what is it? It doesn’t fit into any specific category. It is it’s own being. Like Aspies.

Sick child, sick mind? 

As you all know by now I collect reborn dolls. I adore my babies, they are special to me and I love them as much as a doll can be loved but I do something many people don’t like, many people find insulting and ignorant. My babies sometimes have disabilities. 

My newest baby Oisín is a very petite baby, he looks like he may have been premature. Because of this my baby wears a fake NG tube. 

An NG tube-nasalgastric tube- is a way of feeding children and adults who struggle to eat. It is usually the temporary solution and people who need it long time will go through an operation to fit a G tube directly into the stomach through the abdomen wall. This is often referred to as a peg. 

NG tubes go up the nose and down the back of the oesophagus to the stomach. They are easier fitted although somewhat uncomfortable. Premature babies who often don’t have the ability to suck and swallow or who are not getting enough nutrition due to slow feeding, may be given an Ng tube. 

Some people- generally those who don’t like reborns anyway- find this wrong. They for some reason find it insulting that we would pretend our babies are sick. I don’t see it that way at all, in fact I think of it as a way of being more realistic. Not every baby is born perfect (or at least what people would call perfect) and I think we as reborn artists and collectors have a chance to educate people. If we answer all those questions about NG tubes, if we get the stares and the Pitty and the ignorant comments, we can make it more acceptable for the real babies, who are truly ill. 

The second complaint I have heard is that  shouldn’t pretend something I know nothing about. Correction: I do. Just because I don’t  wear an NG tube myself it doesn’t mean I don’t know how they work. I spent years visiting a respite centre, where children were fed with both NG and Peg tubes. I know how to flush a tube, how to alter the flow, how to check for bubbles, how to sterilise the equipment. I may not have done it in practise but in theory I know what I’m doing. 

Some people also take dolls who look disabled as an insult to disabled people. To that I say does that mean we shouldn’t have dolls who are black, or have red hair because that makes fun of them? Of course not! We should be normalising Children with differences by normalising children like that. 

I learned that if you introduce a child to a wheelchair user that child is likely to go home and pretend one of their toys uses a wheelchair. This is exploration through play as well as through exposure. If the same child never met that wheelchair user at a young age they may have grown up not to see a disability as something to accept but as something to shun or disown.

Children don’t see disabilities as a negative so why should adults? If you think it’s fine for people to be the way they want to be then why shouldn’t they have the freedom to have a doll like them, or someone they know- or even just to make the doll look more realistic. 

If there is nothing wrong with being disabled or with having additional needs hen why is there something wrong with showing these people to the world – even if they aren’t technically people. 

So what do you all think? Why are reborns with additional needs seen as wrong or the people who collect them seen as sick minded? Is it wrong to have these dolls, or do they help acceptance and inclusion? Please leave me a comment if you have anything to say about this matter, or even f  you just want to say hi.
Until next time guys, 🙂